ONE!

Really...1...ONE?!?! I blinked and this time with my precious baby boy has flown. At this time last year, 9:42 pm, Daniel and I were sitting in the NICU talking to the neonatologist and surgeon trying to process the fact that they were recommending surgery tomorrow-the very day after he was born. The mere suggestion of that boggled my brain, as most of you know, we were told that in the BEST case, he would have surgery 48 hours after he was born. Well, God's miracles trump best case ANY day...and the rest is history. My precious lamb had surgery the day after he was born, came off of the ventilator the very next day and was on the 3 week fast track out of the NICU...much faster than the 2 month minimum!

Those 21 days seem a little blurry to me. I remember the extreme guilt that I felt every time that I left the hospital-as I said before, there is nothing natural about "visiting" your baby...and also the extreme guilt that I had over not being with my baby girl. After all, she was the first born, my tender hearted soul and not being in our little routine and watching her kiss the video camera every time she saw her brother brought me to my knees. And this morning the first thing that she wanted to do was sing happy birthday to her brother...and use of a roll of tape to wrap his presents during his morning nap!

I will never forget the night that he was born, laying in the bed, holding his picture, and begging God to give him life, yet also praying that I would have peace for whatever God's best for my baby boy would be. And here I am tonight, celebrating the first year of his life with our family. I praise God for making my little man strong and courageous, for giving him life, and life to the fullest, and for the precious gift and completion that he brings to our family. I praise God for all of the ways that he has healed his body. I pray now that God will continue to protect both of my children, I pray that he will hold them close to him, speak to them in ways that there will be no doubt as to what God wants for them, and that they will come to know and love him and want to serve him. So tonight, as I rocked my baby boy, and sang to him as I wept, I held him a little longer, a little tighter...knowing that I am one blessed mama.

Thank you to my precious friends and family who loved us through the most difficult season of our lives. Thank you for your sweet calls and messages today! We love each of you and hope you know that you were God's light during a very difficult time in our lives.

Junior

Last Saturday we were finally home. I don't know where the past 2 months have gone...but we've been too busy. Little man is 8 months old in this pic! He is loving MOST table food and NOT eating baby food-that's another post. Anyway, after putting him in the tub last weekend, I tip-toed into his room to put this outfit on. And presto-JUNIOR! There's a story behind this outfit. I am the first person to say "dress them like babies-they have the rest of their life to wear Polo"...but this outfit has a story that makes me cry and I feel the need to write about it.

A little background info for this post: My husband lived in Chicago for several years before he moved home when we got married. His boss in Chicago was John...Italian, wears mostly black, strong New England accent, and a charmer! Daniel was like a fish out of water...STRONG Southern accent, Preppy, and far away from home with no family close by. Johnny and his wife Mary took Daniel in as their son. They spent holidays together and shared lots of good times. When we began dating Johnny took me in and gave me the name "Sunshine" and it stuck...now on to "Junior"...

Last December we were stunned, scared, terrified, shocked, worried, didn't want to talk about it, wanted to tell everyone we knew...lets just say every emotion, when we found out about Baby Boy's diaphragmatic hernia. The day we got the confirmed diagnosis, I needed normal. So I took baby girl to church to "Jingle Jam". My hubby needed information, so he stayed home and researched online...something I had forbid myself to do. I sat on the back row with friends and cried. I cried because of the amazing truth of Jesus' birth and I cried because I wanted everything to be ok. I just wanted things to be normal. I had only shared the news with a very few people so most of the people that saw me that night wanted to know how how much longer before I would be having our baby boy. I can't tell you how surreal it felt to have this "secret". I wanted to tell everyone and yet no one, all at the same time. I wondered if people would say the same things to me if they knew that something was wrong with my baby. I wondered if they would say anything at all. I wondered if they would look past me, not knowing what to say...because really, what do you say?

MW and I made it home from church only to find Daniel with tear stained cheeks still looking at the computer. He knew all of the questions to ask for our appointment on Monday, he had watched videos and found great hospitals. We put Miss Priss down and then tried to sleep. I didn't really want to know anything Daniel kept talking about because I was still in shock...sleep didn't come...

The next morning I was VERY anxious. I had so many questions running through my mind. I was fine one minute and crying the next. I composed a mass e-mail to send out because I didn't want to tell the story over and over but I wasn't ready to hit "Send" just yet. Some how by telling everyone it made it more real. I wanted to "do" something but the doctor said there was nothing I could do to make things better or worse, so I started nesting and vacuuming-needing to "DO SOMETHING". 2 people called that day that will always stand out in my mind. One of them was my husband's boss Johnny. The phone rang and I answered, only to hear the best New England accent I've ever heard "Hello Sunshine, Dan told me about the baby and I just wanted to check on you." I began to SOB. Just the fact that he picked up the phone-I just can't put into words how much it meant to me. He proceeded to tell me that he did not mean to upset me, he didn't know what to say, he only wanted to check on us...and all I could say over and over was "thank you so much for calling you don't know how much it means." And in true Johnny fashion, he had me laughing by the end of the conversation, reminding me not to name my kid John because who names their kid after a toilet!

Fast forward to after Little Man was born, a package arrived containing this outfit from the pictures above. Polo button up, khaki pants and a d-ring belt with a note that said "So you can dress like Daddy!" Love, John and Mary. A little poking fun at Daniel-and an extremely thoughtful gift all in one! So here to you Johnny and Mary-I love you more than I tell you! Thank you for picking up the phone and just calling...it's something I'll never forget! I pray that I will ALWAYS call the people I love, even when I don't know what you say. God used your phone call in more ways than you will ever know and if I do say so myself...Junior looks too cute in his "preppy Polo daddy gear!"

PS The shoes are hand-me-downs from my nephew that complete the "Daddy Junior" look. For those of you who want to know a little secret about my husband...he's worn grey New Balances for at least the last 15 years. He gets a new pair every year for Christmas from his mom that become the "Good" ones. He wore them before they were "cool" and will continue to wear them LONG after they are cool because when he finds something he likes-he sticks to it! Kind of like the mirrored Costa sunglasses he was wearing when we first started dating 9 years ago...I HATED them but he wouldn't budge! :) I was secretly happy when he told me he lost them...until he told me he got another pair...just like them!

My little 7 month old

Oh how the time zips by...and I'm telling you, this baby boy is the sweetest baby. This month was marked by some pretty interesting events. I guess the saying "confession is good for the soul" is true, so here it goes. Poor "Banksie" (MW's new pet name for him), this month you rolled off of my bed, your sister bit your hand, pushed you over, and ran over you with her baby stroller...all for the first time. (I can assure you he's not rolling off of my bed again, as for his sister beating up on him, this is just the beginning!) The rolling off of the bed just about sent me into the crazy bin. I'll spare you the entire story, but his head was almost touching the headboard of my bed and he had pillows on either side, which he must have used to propel himself! And for those of you who know my little Mary Wallace, this aggressive behavior is NOT like her at all! Needless to say, we have had lots of chats about using a gentle touch, what it means to show others God's love by how we treat them and using SELF CONTROL with our voice and our body! If I say MW in Titus 2:12 the bible tells us"God wants us to use self control even with our (voice, hands, feet etc)" one more time...I think I'll record it and just press play! The irony in it all is that she confesses and even told on herself (she said Mommy lemmie show you somethin'. I bump bumped on brother!) I think that God speaks to her with a guilty conscience (which she gets from me and I pray that He continues to speak to her in that way!) So, I praise her for her honesty and punish her for her wrong doings...Such is the life of training up these precious children right???!!! I wouldn't trade my job for the world!

On a different note, our Little Buddy was 16 lb 12oz at our doctor's visit this past month! His two bottom teeth are poking through and he continues to drool like a mad man! We are starting to get some "mmmmmmaa" especially when he's tired or whining but he mostly babbles dada and makes vowel sounds. Man it's so different having a boy! MW was babbling up a storm at this age and he's just smiley and chill but very active. His hands and feet are ALWAYS in constant motion (maybe a little ADHD from his Daddy is already kicking in!) He has started giving me a real fit when he's eating baby food. I am really earning my keep now-too bad I can't get paid to work with him. (For those of you who don't know, I'm see a few kids for feeding issues once a week!) It's frustrating and cute all at the same time. He bites his bottom lip and turns his head in the complete opposite direction. The faster I try to get the spoon to that side, the faster he shakes his head! Then we stop, he smiles, I sneak in a bite, and we do it all over again! I officially bought him some therapy tools so let's hope I can work on his eating before he makes me crazy!

I feel like we are a little more settled now...like our routine is set and life as a family of 4 is good. It's good and bad though, because sometimes in feeling settled I don't trust God the way that I should. I don't pray as expectantly as I do when things are unsettled and I don't like that about me. I feel like a lot of our friends and their families are hurting right now and I want God to show me how to minister to them, even if I have two kids in tow! I have much to learn and to be thankful for-and I'm going to go to sleep tonight, thanking God for all that He has give me!

The Sweet Tooth Strikes Again!

So, last week MW and I did quite a bit of baking. Awhile back, I purchased the book Pinkalicious...which I regret. The little girl is quite sassy in the book and I end up having to ad-lib most of it every time we read it. The trouble is, priss remembers how I "read it" last time and I don't! So that makes for interesting conversation, and she is obsessed with the book and all things pink so we better loose the book or find some memory for Mama. Anyway, she has been asking for pink cupcakes every time we read the book, so we decided to make pink cupcakes last Tuesday. They were yummy and she enjoyed sharing with friends. Then on Thursday, I had a chocolate attack so I made brownies and ate 3/4 of the pan in 24 hours. She enjoyed the two that she got to eat! She loves "ta-ko-late" like her Mama!

THEN, on Saturday we decided to practice with our cookies on a stick pan (the first go round they were HUGE because I put too much sugar cookie batter in the molds) so we made chocolate chip cookies (see above pics for how much she enjoyed the process!) The best part was when I pulled a spoon out of the drawer to drop the batter into the pan. MW busted out laughing and said "Mama, you can't use dat one! It's da spankin' spoon!" I about lost it, and tried to compose myself as I explained that wooden spoons are used for things other than when we disobey and need a spanking-you also must know that we have a spanking spoon upstairs, downstairs and in the car thanks to my friend Kathryn's advice! Anyway, the cookies on a stick were a bust. I put too much batter in the molds again AND I burnt them, but she didn't seem to mind. I love having time with her in the kitchen. It's a test of patience and I have to remember that we are going to have a HUGE mess every time, but when she said "This is so fun Mama-I love dis!" I was reminded of the importance of quality time and making special memories with her. Things always seem so busy with her little brother between nursing, diaper changes, outfit changes from yet another blow out etc...I know that I neglect time with her. I can't believe that she's 2 1/2 and growing up so fast-I'm going to hold on tight and enjoy every "sweet" minute! Thanks be to God for the gift of being a Mommy to my precious baby girl.

1/2 of a year and What's his name?

Someone pinch me because I'm not sure where the time has gone! I didn't even write a 5 month post...I mean it's not like I'm sitting around the house eating bon bon's, but I do want to document what's going on! My little man is 6 months old, and my baby girl is almost 2 1/2. The past 2 months have been wonderful! Baby Banks has been growing like crazy. Our last appointment with the cardiologist was July 2nd and we have been placed on the "Call in 2 1/2 years" list! The flap has still not closed HOWEVER his pulmonary pressure was wonderful and his ECHO checked out really well, so for now, unless he shows us some other sign clinically-we don't have to go back until my little man turns 3! That's a huge praise for us! 20% of our population is walking around with small hole like this and the cardiologist said that his only restriction if it did not close would be no scuba diving...I think we can handle that! :)

My little man constantly looks like a glazed doughnut because of all of his drool!! If we could just get those bottom teeth in he would feel like a new man! He has found his voice and is babbling "daaadaadaaa" go figure! :)

And as for his name, we are going to call him "Banks". He is currently called 'baby brother' by his sissy and most of her friends-and 'baby Banks' by others! We often still refer to him as Preston Banks because we prayed for him for so long as that. We were going to decide which name he "looked like" after he was born, but as you know, we had a little more than a name to think about!

We have been going what feels like non stop! We've been to the mountains, to the beach and visiting family and friends! Both of my kiddo's have pretty bad sinus infections at the moment but have been healthy otherwise-we have so much to be thankful for! We have been going to the free movie on hot days, playing in the sprinklers, and spending lots of time playing dress up, crafting and whatever else we can do inside to beat the heat. Mary Wallace is doing really well potty training-so that's another good reason to stay close to home! She is such a great big sister! We'll be playing downstairs and she'll say, "Yets (lets) go check on baby bwother." AKA-wake him up! I want to see him! I gently remind her that he needs his morning nap and she needs some time with me! Her newest Wallace-isms are:

(this one happened at the beach while my cousin Misty was serving little individual servings of banana pudding in cups...upon seeing the dessert she yelled loudly) "Hey y'all-I need to stick my finger in sum-a-dat!" Yes, she is saying y'all!

some others...

Me:Mary Wallace, Mommy said no, not right now, maybe later.

MW: Ok, Mama, we see about dat later, k?

or

"Mama, yet (let) me do it...dat (that) be good?"

and while singing the "beloved" Barney song..."Me love you, Me love you, we're a happy family"...and then she gets the rest of the song right it's just the first part that gets her every time!

And while we are saying our prayers, I obviously always start with what we are thanking God for, and then what we are petitioning God for. Well she just thanks God for everything. We have been asking God to heal Aunt Nellie's tummy and help Daddy's lip to feel better but she prays "Dear God, thank you for Aunt Nellie's tummy, thank you for Daddy's lip, thank you for my boo boo..." It's really kinda funny sometimes and I have to keep a straight face-but the sweet innocent moments are the ones I'll cherish forever. She is STILL obsessed with John the Baptist and we read about him nightly. She loves to teach her bible lesson to her baby dolls and stuffed animals. Now seems to be such a critical point for her learning and she is repeating everything!

Many of you will laugh at this, but when I found out that I was having a boy I COULD NOT WAIT to dress my kids alike! I am all about some brother/sister clothes! Then, when we found out about his hernia, I wondered if he didn't make it how it would feel to be shopping, knowing that there should be someone else to buy for, someone else to dress alike for the picture...obviously not one of my "big" worries at the time, but just one of those things I thought about! And now that it's the "season" for home clothing shows for kids, I LOVE buying them clothes to match! I probably have 1 more year to do this without Daniel telling me no way...and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth! :)

"There were 2 in the bed...

...and the little one said Roll Over, Roll Over"-that's all my squirmy boy does these days. He can go from back to tummy easily but has done tummy to back only a few times. He's so fun to watch! This month has brought about a major growth spurt, consistently sleeping through the night (hooray), LOTS of drool, more smiles, and lots of coos. He is so funny tracking Mary Wallace as she moves about through the house and is less startled by her loud noises and being all up in his face! :) We made our first 'road trip' to Atlanta and he did great riding in the car, so great that we are going to the mountains next weekend for my family reunion. I took "2 babies" to the zoo for the first time. (Side bar-that's Mary Wallace's new thing-"Mommy you hold 2 babies?" meaning she wants me to hold her while I'm currently holding him! Or, "Mommy you take 2 babies outside?" Looking back, when we pray I often say how thankful I am that God has given me 2 babies! So that's where she's getting it!) Preston Banks has a few new nicknames Drooly Boy and Squirmy. The child is very laid back but is always turning his head to see what is going on or squirming around in your arms while you hold him. And when he's in the bouncy seat you MUST buckle both straps tightly or he will turn over and roll out (almost happened to me-just crown me Mother of the Year!)


Time is flying - I can't believe how quickly 4 months have passed. I long for a pause button for life right now. I love the ages of my babies and I LOVE to see them together. Mary Wallace is into helping change his diaper, helping push him in the stroller, rolling beside him on the floor to show him how to do it-and both of my babies are cuddle bugs, especially at night. They love to read books and sing songs-I often get misty eyed as I hear Mary Wallace singing 'mazing Grace or Jesus Loves Me. I love to hear her ask for "Don the Baptist" also known as John the Baptist or "Whale Swallowed Jonah" EVERY NIGHT when asked if there is a special bible story she would like to read. I love to hear her sing our bible verses or use character words that I think she will NEVER understand i.e. "Ok Mommy, I be patient for you" or "I sorry Mommy, I use kind words"...she is a little sponge right now and I love this teaching time.

These days baby Banks loves to coo, and I've found his tickle spot-just underneath his bottom rib-where is scar is! He's so precious! He squirms and does this cute cough/laugh when I tickle him. He just goes with the flow and is pretty laid back. He loves to sit in the Bumbo seat and is getting too long for the bouncy seat! Sometimes, it still feels like a dream...all that we went through, all that God has provided...but he has the scar to prove it-and I pray that I will never stop telling Preston Banks how God has already worked in his little life!

PS I failed to post that our meeting with the cardiologist went well. He did an EKG in his office and the hole in his heart is still there, however he doesn't have any signs of pulmonary hypertension (both clinically and through the EKG and ECHO) so we will go back to see him in July for a follow up ECHO to keep track of things. Please continue to pray that the hole will close on it's own.

Two Months and Two Years

So, it's been awhile since I've posted...and my babies are growing up SO fast! These are two of my favorite pictures of them! Mary Wallace has become obcessed with umbrella's ever since the Great Snowstorm 2010-and my little smily man-that picture sums him up!

Mary Wallace turned two four days after Preston Banks came home and I never wrote a "2 Year' post for her...here are some of my favorite "Mary Wallaceisms"

-"Mommy, opeM it please..." (with an M instead of an N...too cute to correct)

-upon entering a local children's shoe boutique..."I love dese boots mommy, and dese flip flops...and dese pincess shoes (that's what she calls high heels)"

-"Hi baby bwover, I love you baby bwover" several times during the day she will say this and be SUPER excited like she's never seen him before.

-"Get some more" and "Buy Some"...she says this about everything she wants to do again or have more of..."Get some more slide and swing" "Daddy get some more yogert" or "Mommy buy some new shoes (meaning for HER and with her head tiled slightly)

-I love DIS one...as she points to shoes, a dress, a bow...she is a girly girl and LOVES to shop...her Daddy is in trouble!!

-And my favorite-"Mommy push that butt"...she means button!

She is my precious baby girl and I don't know what I would do without her! How blessed I am to have "one of each"!

SO much has happened in the last few weeks. We have seen the pediatric pulmonologist, gotten our first round of shots, x-rays, follow-up appointment with the surgeon, ECHO...and all were an "A+" except for the ECHO. He still has the hole in his heart with some shunting so we are going to see the pediatric cardiologist this coming Thursday. For all that my little man has been through-we have so much to be thankful for. Every time I change his diaper or give him a bath and see his scar (which is healing SO well) I am reminded of everything he (and WE) have been through, and how I have witnessed God's healing hand. Please pray with me that He will heal this hole in his heart and that we will get answers to our questions on Thursday!

Oh, and he will be 3 months old in 3 days so I'll post faster this time! :)

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